Why I Can't Sleep, and Happy BirthDay, 100 Years

Why I Can't Sleep, and Happy BirthDay, 100 Years

my pillowed head
surrounded by men's purrs, Feline, Humans, amorphous kind angelic Spirits...

I need to sleep,
but each time I close my eyes:

I see a Mind-photo:
tears drop in watercolors, like children's bubbles, blown

through August - sweltered haze,
falling, falling, falling free - purposefully...
into my nearDream Heart, here another unquiet Night -
I am Honoured
~~~~~
                                         Tears fall from widest eyes - I see Her!

Eyes star-strewn, ebonied

She weeps pearls 'cross screens for a saddened world;

she entertains the Immigrants; my Nina is a child;

New York welcomes

 Eastern-European Jews;

my Nina sits in the darkened theatre,

skinny legs dangle above the cinema floor;

she wonders at the huge-screened news,

my Nina, little auburn girl,

watches Theda, Aunty Chicky,

the First Great War;

"Good-bye, brother, Al."

chicken soup brews;

Snow decorates Canarsie's Dream;

tiny Nina wonders, draws circles in her frosty bedroom window,

asks Bubby, my namesake:
"Where are they taking them?"

hollow, wasted bones and flesh

move to rest in old graves, sprinkled now with pebbles;

"Garlic keeps you healthy, Edie.

Rub it into the heel of the rye bread."
and so the bread is yesterday's -

"We have all we need, maidele...Eat."

"They are taking the bodies of the victims of another Great War" -

~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cleopatra's sultry eyes, her scandalously clad, barely draped voluptuousness

Gifts laughter and awe,  after newsreel horror.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I meet them then, again in now,

in Time's swirling spirals;

my genes hold their love,

share their schemes,

dream their own mothers' hopes -

one hundred years swim as teardrops in Time's tumultuous Seas

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Sleep eludes me, for quiet Time’s arrived.

I do not mind tomorrow's "tired;"

as I feel so very honoured to see

~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She kisses a tiny one's luscious lashes,
senses my gaze upon them,
these tiny crystal children;
their Souls ahold in teardrops;
forming puddles before my eyes;
whisper'ng Rain runs 'round the table-top,
a separate leak in Time
My child peeks through the Rain-Painted window 

I dream my hands are moist with sticky old Souls;
I know these arrive from other Lives;
my Gifts are beyond my belief, my worth!
I weep, so privileged to see Life
to hold and love you in my genes
I am so blessed to see

*~*Happy 100th BirthDay to my BeLoved Grandmother, whom I called "Nina," 

                as I could not pronounce "Nana."

Your first granddaughter misses you so very much.

 I love you so much, my Nina."

August 10, 1912 -  June 1, 2009 

*****With ForEver LOve and Gratitude to my BeLoved Mother, who has expounded upon Nina's Story long before I wrote this Poem, in her own Short Story,

Part of the memory-quilt I have tried to reconstruct is based upon my Mother's account, as told to her by her Mother, Edith ("Nina") , while much of my Writing here, as always, is more metaphorical, in an endless desire to show the interconnecting spirals I feel & see all around my blessed Life. 

Please click below to Read My Mother's Story :)  http://www.windsweptpress.com/epidemic.htm

"We'll meet again, we'll meet again."  (JDM)

* The Great Influenza Pandemic 1918
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1918_flu_pandemic

For Leo: You Do Not Have to say the Letter "S" with such Finesse

My Dear Child,

    I don't know if you realize how much you are loved. I write to you with tear-filled eyes. I love you so very much. Your Daddy loves you as much as I do. I think you ~are~ aware. I hope so!

     I realize you do not *have* to do all the amazing things you do. You don't *have to* say the letter "S" with such intense finesse; you don't even have to read so well. But you do. You do not have to know all the lyrics to "Bohemian Rhapsody," to Kate Bush's and Amy Winehouse's Music, to Doors Songs. If you would rather listen to children's songs, we would not be offended. You learned your alphabet when you were three! 

   Every Morning, you wake up, you dress yourself  (Daddy still helps you tie your shoes, but I see you are working on it; soon you will master that, as you do everything which comes your way.)

   I believe: your Soul is old. You had finished your work, and you landed with us to teach us a few things.

     Mommy has always been a Joyful person, amazed that my LifeTime here is realized, grateful!! You have helped me to grow, to understand who I can be, but only if I persevere. You and your Daddy have taught me how to be more patient. You have taught me to be kinder. From your example, I have learned to move a bit more slowly, to enjoy my precious Moments even more. You have even helped me to see the Joy in darker Moments. 

  You do not have to say the letter "S" with such finesse. You needn't accomplish all these tasks, which could appear difficult; but you do so anyway, because you are driven. You never give up! I have never met a person so amazing as you, Leo!!

   I would never push you if you didn't want to, but you love a challenge, like your Mommy and your Daddy. You have your Dad's technical expertise and his Joy, his patience, his intelligence,  and his obsessive drive to complete any task which is set before him. You love cars and driving, like your Daddy! You tell us you'd someDay like to own a big, blue car. I will buy it for you! You possess computer abilities and photographic skills which I shall never claim. You have your Music, from your Mommy *and* your Daddy. You have your Mommy's free and trusting nature, as well as her wide smiling eyes. Like Mommy, you love language; you practise your English word pronunciation almost obsessively, the same way your Mom learned Spanish. You watch TV in Spanish, even though your first language is English. You may have been excluded from studying Spanish in school, but you decided to learn it anyway. I am so proud when you greet Spanish-speaking children at the playground with "Hola".  I heard you last Night, while you were in your room, practising "Soy Leo."

You have your Daddy's beautifully colored British eyes. 

You love people, like both your parents. And we love you.

     Leo, you are *you*. You have *yourself,* and your *self* is beautiful. I want your Life to be full of Joy. People expect you are happy all the time, but we know that is untrue. You have many moods, as all people do. The only thing different about you is that you have a little bit extra, in the form of a chromosome. When you are a little bit older, you shall understand that more.

     Please take a rest when things seem too much; everybody else does; why shouldn't you? Be Leo. You are the only Leo on this Earth. Be You. I am so grateful to you for Being, and for Being with me on this Journey.

   With all my love always, CherylFaith ("Mommy") 

ps  I fell in love with you the Night you were conceived. No accident that you are a Valentine's Day baby. 

pps July 2015... "Your letter "s" finesse" has improved to an even greater extent. Your speech is fabulous, as is everything about you, my love. You are growing into an amazing young man in so many ways...You are, now, eleven years old!

photos of spiders and teardrops: several pictures of an incomplete Suite

Stars tremble, sick with the Air, all sticky stenchy

from the foreign Voices' echoes.

The Stars' stares fill my eyes with teardrops' Souls 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

   little spider, little spider, 

       who did you say issued your permit to saunter 'cross his face 

        in Night's deadspace,

        to drag your stringy ink toy,

             (slicing designs you think will heal the Stars' pain)

        Have you the slightest idea of the cost to this earthly person's

         Mind?

          You can't see him now; he has run, 

           trailing screams maniacal, into his fresh plastic bubble;

            his mother calls, tries to tempt him with his past delicacies,

            her breasts heave madly from her fearful flight

              (the fierce battle to pierce his tent has cost her dearly -

                 we all hear her weep)

How will he reach the fire-diamonds now? 
Will the bubble move according to his will?
 Have you stolen his will, sneaky spidey?
  Have you trampled his Soul again?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Their pain cuts through me; tis unbearably heavy;

The Stars' stares fill my eyes with teardrops' Souls

The Stars' stares fill my eyes with teardrops' Souls

teardrops Souls

every teardrop holds a moving Soul, aLive

aLive

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be continued, possibly here in the phantasmagory

I don't know what it's about either; perhaps we shall discover together -

thank you for your visit - lonely times here frighten;

please return soon, won't you?

I think Mars may explain, at least in part...

oh, silly! no worries; tis only all in fun

entering your mind-mine...see?

twittery fun, August 2012 (on some people's calendars, anyway)

GaylMurphy ‏@GaylMurphy

I follow @squidwardthe2nd and he follows me because I 'celebritize' rockin' elfs and secret agents!

Reply  by CherylFaith: (ChayaChaya)

  ‏

@GaylMurphy @squidwardthe2nd 

I <3 elves.They visit me in Moments we can't count. If their attire be secret agent-y,I still know they're elves

   (I wanted to write "Love," as I don't like using abbreviations, but I coulnd't fit the Words...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 Aug Patrick Star ‏@Patrick_Star

It’s so hot, I want to be INSIDE an ice cream sandwich. 

CherylFaith's reply:

2 Aug ChayaChaya ‏

@Patrick_Star 

I Dreamed I wed my Prince inside a Creamsickle; warm within a luxurious frozen cave,our eternal eyes promised fluffyOrange Love 

Why not?

visit: the meadow's Mind after Kafka stung me (freeWrite)

*~* here lies a tiny exercise: I shall tell you the exact Words which flow as they flow...

no corrections, no edits now.

Here, Dear Reader:

I was visiting the meadow's Mind after Kafka stung me;
Eudora* rocked me in her arms;

Theda's wicked wanton lips tickle the King's aching ear,
she Gifted him his Jeweled years to play anew;

whilst watching this regal show, so privileged I,

my pen began to move across the room;

incredulity aside, I thought I ought to tell you...   :

(to hide inside the billowy Poem walls...)

~~~~~~~

the invisible woman blushes;

for the length and space of an elvin breath

her mind projects faery-hued purple orchestrations

to dance symphonic colours all over the King's walls...

~~~~

angelic grace, a mid-Moon's face, 

a song his Heart hath twice remembered eighteen thousand years from now;

all suddenly flame his grief-torn, solemn Soul; 

his ego steps, shy, gingerly aside -

the Tortoise King lumbers up to the silent princess;

he pretends two strong legs can move his body;

at once he climbs astride his Lady

Finally, the King shall ride...

the unending Night's ivory mares

raise their regal heads; their eyes flash joy to know their King shall ride anew

tbc...?

more than one Muse o'mine animated this Poem:
for Dr. Franz Kafka, who haunts and Inspires me!
For Mr. Arthur Phillips, Author and Friend...Thank You for Writing, unlike any other
and *Here is Eudora Welty, one of my favorite Muses. She's a Southern Writer, but unlike any other...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudora_Welty

*every* piece of Poetry I allow to sail or trundle its way through me.
always I dedicate to my beloved husband and SoulMate, Robin Taylor

 

attack

To break.

                I break. I lie against thy Heart.

Refuse thy hug?  was ne'er my true intent;

solely stark fear to close mine eyes tis why -

pray help me shake this plastic revery!

I hug thee; for e'er sorrow not to've touched;

our physicality doth terrify;

( this spindly thread by which I cling to Life,

to yield to your love, most surely, I should die)

~~~~~~

My Life's been kissed to glimpse these tortured times;

deep Mysteries surround my Soul's designs;

to Live beloved Lives, Love's spiraled streams...

but at this Moment:

My Heart pounds sinister Music

I pray for Reality's Magic 

Steel chains burn, sear, scorch my pale bare flesh!

~~~~~

Trees, Books, Cats, Birds, Food, Wine abound,

Gold - hewn Gifts to soothe an earth-grown body.

I see it all from my perch inside this plastic prison.

~~~~~~~~~~

My darling,

He invited me in to dine;

He waited, a gentleman true; he walked tallest 'mongst men;

He waited, unaware, for his SoulMate,

and I appeared,

 an Imposter

~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~

luxurious inhalations; pure Dawn's roseate Air - (breathe breathe breathe!)

No longer mine.

now:

gifts for my hypocrisy: 

shivers shake me!

 In Moments, the throngs will view a stoning.

my flawed Humanity...

I beseech thee, forest goddesses,

your eyes upon me, ever watchful, kind,

even in my shame-stained plunge...

I beseech thee, angels mine:
combine my Mind, my flesh, my bones,

so that I may be round again

I shall be Better.

  ~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~

My Life's been kissed to glimpse these tortured times;

deep Mysteries surround my Soul's designs;

to Live beloved Lives, Love's spiraled streams...

to Breathe, in Freedom, to glimpse Immortality....

I shall be better this Time.

 graces

Airborne for...

...ceaseless concentric Circles spiral;

Time shakes herself; 

 feathers fly; they escape, crystalline paperweights,
in sudden loquacious storming torments;
we float,

Airborne upon worlds of  Words' mighty Wings;

~~~~~

the errant plumes kiss Voices aWake;

 solely Her old eyes see...

~~~~

celestial Music zooms and is quiet...

"LoveLoveLove," she sings..."Be Lit, BeLight, Awake! , sad Sky...

be lit
be Lit

  be Lit...

...Light...

aLight..."

Be Lit.

 ~~~~~

~~~~~

flying, flying feathers everywhere, letters caught, letters leap!
  dusty deities' delicate hands;

every Word ever Spoken, ever Written, aLive!
 Each thought:  To Be Told...

Open eyes, tiny Creatures!  
You are the sentries of these Storming Words!

(they drape the Universe in hot feathered Stars,

kiss his ears as he Sleeps, as soft old Seas rock his Heart...)

 ~~~~

ceaseless concentric Circles spiral;

Time shakes herself; 

 feathers fly, escape crystalline paperweights,

Airborne upon worlds of  Words' mighty Wings...