To all who celebrate:
We wish you a 5777 full of sweetness, good health, Joy & Love.
Below: My grandmother with me a few years back.
I am her first grandchild. As a child, I was unable to say "Nana,". Instead, I called her "Nina." The name stuck like honey, and her other grandchildren and her many great-grandchildren called her "Nina". Even her own children came to refer to her as "Nina" after awhile. Sometimes, we shortened her nickname to "Neen." My beloved Grandpa, Leo, had a license plate custom-made for her: "Neen".
My Heart broke like never before, that grey Spring Evening in 2009 when we laid her emaciated physical body to rest.Months later, at her unveiling, despite my steady stream of grief , somebody, probably my mother and my uncle, or perhaps my cousins, had had "Neen" engraved, along with her given names, upon her tombstone.
At the age of 97, Nina remained aware of world-wide current events; she was more computer-literate than I; she had been working on a huge genealogy project which spanned Centuries. (She completed much of her project, via the Internet and via handwritten letters in at least three languages, before the inception of ancestors . com.) Even after she suffered a disabling stroke, for several weeks, Nina continued in her awareness of all that went on around her. I actually thought she would recover, because my Neen could do anything. As an adult, I held onto my belief that she was immune, somehow, even to mortality. One of the last things Neen wrote before she journeyed to join her husband, my equally missed and beloved grandfather, Leo, her parents, siblings, and ancestors: a brief note to send love to my husband, who was working during my visit, upon a too-silent May afternoon. She could no longer speak much then, but she wanted us to know she was still capable of Writing; that she had retained the Spanish she'd learned at NYU as a young woman, and that she had fully accepted Robin, who was of a different faith.
Nina wrote: "mi amor a Robin". She had retained the Spanish she'd studied at NYU back around 1930.
My Nina's passing has continued to be miraculous. Since 2009, she has appeared to us in various ways. She has spoken to me through several Dreams, as well as by actions. On my birthday, a couple of months after she passed, I was alone, cooking spaghetti in the kitchen, when she dropped the previous year's birthday card on my head . I keep no greeting cards anywhere near the kitchen. This particular card featured a SunFlower, which she knew to be my favourite, accompanied with a message she knew I would understand: She wanted me to focus upon Life's Joys, rather than to dwell upon our sadder Moments. My husband witnessed the birthday card incident, as well as the crystalline marble we discovered, a few days ago, upon a stressful Autumn afternoon; the large marble appeared out of nowhere. Its colour is reminiscent of the beautiful hazel eyes she'd had .... I have come to understand that both she and my grandfather have never really left me.
Recently, we moved to a new town. As I walked in late afternoon's Summer Sun toward the house, hours before the first Night we would sleep in our new abode, I noticed a piece of ivory-coloured paper slightly a'flutter in a soft late Summer breeze. I thought I had dropped one of my son's school papers. My arms full of a box of books, I crouched to retrieve the paper, which had begun to take on the appearance of a mischievous little feather, waving at me, a winsome grin upon its face. To my utter shock, upon the top step of our new abode, lay, a'flutter, a copy of my Grandpa Leo's United States naturalization paper! He smiled up at me, a handsome, dark-complexioned man of thirty-one. I do not recall ever having possessed this paper. Tears of Joy welling in my eyes, I ran to Robin, telling him that Grandpa Leo had welcomed us into our new home. I saw, or more like felt, the presence of my maternal grandparents. They had blessed our new living quarters.
I am not religiously observant, but I feel connected in ways of the Spirit. I honour my gandparents and all who preceded them, for they are each a part of who I am; their genes course through my blood. The love I feel for them shall never fade. They keep constant vigil over their children, their grandchildren. I am not at liberty now to tell their stories, but my grandmother has appeared to help other members of my family, even in clearer, more tangible ways. I view nothing as strange; I am connected and I don't believe we ever truly die. I imagine many other people, or, perhaps all of us, feel this sensation: we are directly wired to our ancestors, our beloveds who have seemingly left this world.
I have come to understand Judaism as a rich, tapestried culture, in addition to its status of 'religion'. Despite the fact that I do not really follow religious teachings, I know, I physically *feel* my Soul's interwoven strands; I am an integral, interwoven segment of a brightly coloured, musical, magical Soul tapestry composed of all the Souls who have come before me. I am a square in the quilt my Nina painstakingly pieced together for me of the clothing I wore as a child. (I lie upon this artistic masterpiece as I type these words .... )
I wish *everyone,* all my brothers and sisters around our shared tiny world, beautiful days, balmy evenings, but most importantly, despite our countless varied origins and ethnicities, I wish you sweetness, good health, Joy & Love.
CherylFaith, in constant Awe
I love you, my Neen.
With gratitude, with never-ending love, your first grand-daughter, CherylFaith
a brief, related Poem
No comments:
Post a Comment