A Friends' Guide: How to speak to a parent whose Child has Trisomy21; aka I do not have a "Down Syndrome Child..."

(Thank you, sweet Joe, for Being the Person, a Friend,  I have always known you were...Love you!) 

PLEASE SCROLL TO NEXT BLUE LETTERS IF YOU WANT THE QUICK READ

 (rough draft, upon finishing a Novel, which I thoroughly enjoyed, until my Heart sank, page 266)

(My forgiveness to you,  Authoress, as your ~*character*  was speaking~)...Still, after a thoroughly haunting, emotional, mesmerizing ~Experience~ of a Read, I felt completely dis-Heartened (redundant Word) at seeing:  "...helping Down syndrome kids make and sell printed sweatshirts..."  (anonymous, as I truly loved your Book, until this point, a surprising poisonous dollop of curdled whipped cream, atop your decadently delicious treat of a Read.)  When I message you, Ms...., please listen as a Mother, with your Heart; please understand that your Book has struck me as an absolute Literary Classic - you deserve every award you have earned. However, (I re-iterate) please hear me with your Heart.... And....Please feel free at *any* time, to interview me; please ask me any question you might have as to *our* experiences in having/raising a child who has Trisomy21. Please ask about my babe, who is no longer a baby, at the ripe old age of 7!

~~Reader, if you tire of my verbosity, please, at least, Read here? HearthThanks...Love to you!

     I don't have a "Down Syndrome Son" (or a French Poodle!). I have a son who "has" Trisomy 21," or "Down Syndrome". I have a son who happens to have been born with Down's Syndrome, a condition which is *not* medical; nor is it a disease. Leo was blessed with an extra chromosome. I would choose my Leo over any other baby in the Universe, given myriad choices over InFinite Centuries. I chose not to opt for amnio or any genetic testing when I carried my child, as I knew, as his Mother: Leo is strong, healthy, dynamic, intelligent, resourceful, creative; he will be more than capable than living independently in this World. Like your little boy(s), Leo plays baseball, loves vanilla or strawberry ice cream, disdains chicken (well, maybe not like your son...after all, Mommy *is* a Vegetarian); Leo lines the perimeter of his room w/his favorite Books, having decided to call them, "Leo's Library."  Leo may learn via slightly different channels than your little boy; he may be delayed in one area or another; these capabilities/differences do not make Leo pitiful or less intelligent; he is Leo. Please do not feel sorry for us, or, even worse, tell me, "I'm sorry."

Please do not assume (or say!) "He's such an angel!" All children are angels sometimes, devils at other Moments.

*~*  Sometimes, my son is the one who "helps". 

He is masterful at a great many pursuits.  He loves to "volunteer, " 

& knows the Word, even if he does not pronounce it with expertise...yet...  :)

Things you might say (or not say) which a Friend might say (or not):

1) He has beautiful eyes (they're his Daddy's British eyes) :)

2) Upon hearing Leo's "No," simply to assert himself, remind me how your son/grandson/nephew/friend's son/cousin/lover's child/surrogate son/ any little boy you adore... defiantly proclaims "No!" & will do the opposite of what you may ask him to do.

3) Tell me how your (little boy) used to...{       } Find the similarities...do not focus on the differences

 4) Neither Robin (hubby) nor I = angel;  neither of us has loads of patience. Please assume I am likely a little bit tired after a Day with a young child, (remember when you may have felt the same way?)

How about sharing a bit about *your* experiences.

5) Speak with *Leo*.   Leo is a Human Being, as you are, as are any children in your own Life..

Leo is a 7-yr-old boy, & he wants you to ask ***him*** his name; he wants you to ask ***him*** "How old are you," altho "seven" can be a difficult Word to pronounce (he practises obsessively, on long Rainy afternoons, Home, with Mommy, surrounded by the wealth & Colour of his proudly, lovingly Created "Leo's Library" )

He may begin your conversation quite shyly, as, like his parents, he feels very shy about pronouncing Words/expressing his deep Thoughts, when he has not yet perfected his desired outcome of your meeting.),

He would like you to realize he is a *very* smart boy.

He loves women, from peer girls, to more mature ladies. He has a fondness for the dramatic, as well as for "femininity;"
  ok...he is curious about the differences between males & females (as I was,at his age...is that normal?)  

....He likes women's chests! (that's something I *didn't,* at his age....or ever...) :)

He once stole my liquid eyeliner & lined his right eye, perfectly, waterline included, while lying on his stomach, without a mirror.
I still have trouble, after a couple of decades... :)
 

6) Read to Leo...better yet, ask Leo if 
he would like to Read (or Write, use his computer, play, Color) 
with ~you~....

(He adores your attention, & 
perhaps he might help you out with a project.)

(Every game/playtime need not be a "lesson," of any sort.
We all simply want to"Play" at times, don't we?)

7) so much more to follow, but I must curtail for ToNight; altho I love these Hours for Writing, my hubby says he cannot Sleep. My spacebar key sticks & every time I hit it, he coughs...
To Be Continued


  8) Ask me about Trisomy 21 {gets out Books, to review Science, in case that's the angle you'd like, altho, surely, you can do a Search...}           


      Leo is Musically, Athletically, Socially Talented (as well as Literally, like his Mom) :). 

Leo received the above Abilities

  a)because he is Leo,

& b) because children who are born with Down's Syndrome are **more like their parents than they are like other 

kids who have Down's Syndrome.**

(NOT: "Down syndrome kids...")

  When you meet my babe, if you are my friend, please be like my angelic friend, Joe, whom I've known for centuries, & t& tell me, "Oh, my nephews hate..." or "My nephews are afraid of..."  Normal talk about kids!

To Be Continued...Please Remember:

My son *has* Down's Syndrome.

My son was born with Down's Syndrome (Trisomy 21)

I am the proud Mommy of a child who happens to have been born with Trisomy21 (please look it up if you are uncertain)

This is a **Rough draft** !!  I can    Write more refine-edly than this Emotional Catharsis (ok...vomit)...


18,000 Thanks for Reading, Authoress...Your Novel is of a rare, Magical, imminently skilled Heart...You are a wonderfully skilled WordCrafter...I must grow a thicker skin...I do not wish to hurt you...please forgive, if I have...****Members of my own family have "slipped up" & used the exact terms you've utilized; my Mom's a Writer, too...and a Mom!   TBC...as always...